To study the way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things of the universe.

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Couples Counseling - Imago Relationship Therapy

What forces a couple into therapy is a lack of connection. It can manifest in  frequent arguments, infidelity, loss of intimacy, stonewalling or difficulties to communicate.  


What may happen is that one partner pursues and the other withdraws, which often manifests as nagging and checking out - sounds familiar? 


When we are caught in a destructive cycle of anger and resentment, there is no room to talk calmly about what's going on on the emotional level.


When we retreat into our own worlds and shut the other out, there is no connection at all. 


What is needed is a way to communicate that enables each partner to put themselves in each others' shoes.


One of the tools I use is the Imago dialogue, created by Harville Hendrix. What you will learn is a way to communicate that integrates validation and empathy. 


This is how you restore and enhance harmony, emotional and sexual intimacy.


Other occurences that threaten a relationship are affairs, external stressors and sexual disconnect, sometimes stemming from sexual abuse. It is possible to heal from a rupture like that. 


I have worked with many couples from different walks of life including minorities as well as gay and lesbian partners.


If you are at a stage where it feels like the intimate relationship cannot be restored, I can help you process the intense feelings a separation triggers and move you towards a mindful, intentional divorce. A compassionate, amicable way to end a relationship makes it possible for families, and especially the children, to avoid the trauma of divorce




"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the 

barriers within yourself that you have built against it. " Rumi 











    Gerti Schoen