The Power of the Group Can Transform your Life as Well
Some months ago, a middle aged lady - let’s call her Rose -, came to me because she was unhappy in her marriage. Her husband of 20 years had been unfaithful multiple times. Every time his transgressions became known, he had vowed betterment. Every time he had broken his promises.
Rose was desperate. She worked very hard to improve her marriage. She took him to counseling, went to see a therapist herself, made all kinds of changes. But nothing helped.
Yet she felt she was stuck with him because he was the only person who supported her against her unsupportive family. She had grown up believing that she wasn’t good enough to get the kind of relationship she really wanted. That her own needs weren’t important. That she had to take care of herself because others weren’t reliable.
We did a lot of good work together, but she still couldn’t get away from her disloyal husband.
That changed when one day she came in and announced the she had joined a group. Many of the other members were divorced, or in the process of separating. They understood each other. They exchanged helpful tips and lent support every way possible. Rose began to enjoy what had eluded her most of her life: true friendship and honest support.
From that day on, Rose became markedly stronger. It felt like she had a constant invisible circle of people around her who wanted the best for her, propped her up when she was down, and expressed warmth and affection when needed.
Today, Rose is in the process of selling her home. She successfully negociated a separation agreement with her husband, that ensures her a secure retirement. Her group is always there for her. Her new life is waiting, and she has regained hope and self confidence.
If you feel equally stuck and in need of support, join one of my women’s empowerment groups. Two new ones are starting in January. One will be face to face in my Ridgewood, NJ office, and one will be online.
During our 8 weeks together, the main topics will include how to effectively cope with stress, anxiety, overwhelm, depression and depletion. You will learn to understand what beliefs drive you, and how to change these beliefs. And the importance of setting boundaries to avoid feeling tired and run down.
Maybe the most healing aspect of the course is that you are learning with the support of up to 8 other women who will join you in the group. Studies have proven that being around like minded peers is extremely effective for your mental health, and for many people it is even more powerful for your growth than individual work on self improvement.
In our meetings together, we start with a check-in, where everyone shares a little about their state of mind. Then we move on to a pre-set topic, for example how to develop self compassion, followed by a guided meditation. After a debrief, we finish every meeting with a healing meditation that centers around the needs and desires of one group member.
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