• To Live Well is to Love Well
    Bring More Happiness Into Your Life:
    Counseling for Couples & Individuals and Group Events

Couples Counseling

Sometimes being in a relationship is hard. Couples who come to me feel they've done everything they could to make things better. 

I can show you a way to rekindle the connection and intimacy you crave.


Communicating in a Non-Confrontational Way is Key

Resolving conflict means putting yourself into your partner’s shoes and learning how to develop compassion and empathy with each other.

So often what happens is that one person tries to do much of the communicating while the other withdraws. Both partners want to connect. Yet one ends up feeling that there is no way to get through, while the other feels overwhelmed and retreats.

There is a way to break through these patterns. I will coach you to express yourself in an honest but sensible way without hurting your partner. You will feel validated and fully understood.


What You Will Get Out Of It

Communicate in a way that deepens your connection

Create a new relationship vision

Tools to calm yourself down when the conversation gets heated

Learn about your triggers and how to navigate them

Let go of unproductive patterns of relating that stem from the past

Rekindle romance

Renew and recreate a fulfilling sex life



If an emotional or sexual affair is interfering, the partners will determine a set amount of time in which the couple commits to working exclusively on their relationship. 


Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling doesn’t mean that something is wrong from the get go. It means that you care so much about the relationship that you want to make sure that misunderstandings or past experiences won’t get in the way of moving forward.


The Conscious Separation

If you are at a stage where it feels like the relationship cannot be restored, I can help you process the intense feelings a separation triggers and move you towards an intentional divorce. A compassionate way to end a relationship makes it possible for families, and especially their children, to avoid the trauma of divorce. 

I have worked with many couples from different walks of life including minorities as well as LGBT couples.


If you are ready to reconnect with your partner, contact me at [email protected] or call 917.607.4525 for a 15-minute free phone consultation.



"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. " Rumi 

Individual Counseling


Do you feel anxious, overwhelmed, stressed and constantly worried? Do you have panic attacks or strong fears? Are you uncomfortable in social situations? Are pervasive doubts and low self esteem clouding your thoughts?

Stress, anxiety and fear are among the most common mental health issues in the United States. You are not alone. One in three Americans will develop some form of anxiety disorder during their lives. But anxiety is manageable and can be treated very effectively. 


Do you feel a pervasive lack of motivation, loneliness or hopelessness? Is it hard to get out of the house and to engage with life? Do you feel disconnected from the world or sad and depressed most of the time?

Depression often results from the losses we had to endure and that are hard to get over. We need to relieve the parts of us that carry a heavy burden so we can feel joyful again.

Anger and Addictions

Do you get angry or irritated a lot? Does frustration come out in explosive outbursts? Do you find yourself making choices rooted in impulsivity? Do you have a hard time trusting? Are you trying to numb emotional pain by drinking, taking drugs or excessive internet usage?

Symptoms like any of the ones described on this page may be rooted in traumatic experiences. Trauma results not only from physical, sexual and verbal abuse. It also may be caused by persistent neglect, betrayal and chronically dysfunctional relationships; by constant criticism or ridicule; by being rejected or left out many times; by pervasively anxious parenting; or by single traumatic events like illness, accidents, violence or the loss of a loved one. By restoring faith in ourselves, we can overcome traumatic experiences and tap into the innate calm and peacefulness of the self.   


Letting Go

Letting go is one of the most important while most challenging tasks in life. It is possible to learn how to cope with the many losses that we are confronted with, small and large. Relationships depend on our ability to let go off resentment and overly idealistic expectations. Flowing through life without clinging to what has passed enables us to live more fully in the moment.


If you are ready to rebuild your life, contact me at [email protected] or call 917.607.4525 for a 15-minute free phone consultation.

My Philosophy

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime and every kindness we birth our future.”

                                                                                              David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas



I came to couples counseling after my own relationship went through a crisis. My husband and I weren't communicating any more and it seemed like we wanted different things from life.

Everything changed after I started to take a good look at myself. By studying Imago relationship therapy, I realized how many factors come into play when we choose a partner. I learned to take responsibility for how I contributed to our problems, and our relationship changed drastically. Today we are more connected than ever before.


The Spiritual Path

I have a deep interest in spirituality and how it can enhance our lives. Psychotherapy and spirituality have the same roots. In many ways, modern therapists are now doing the work of spiritual advisors in the past. I believe that behind all our struggles and anxieties there is an entity that is calm, strong and peaceful and knows what is right. Some people call this entity the Self. Others call it the Soul.

We therapists work to uncover these often hidden strengths of the Self. We look at all the protective layers we had to build in order to be safe and peel them back, layer by layer, to discover what is really at our core. We find out where our creative forces lie, and how to let go of the obstacles that hold us back. 

I have studied Mindfulness, Eastern Philosophy, the Laws of Attraction and Shamanism for more than fifteen years and have come to greatly appreciate how much the teachings can help in the therapeutic process. A core element of all these practices is the importance of flowing with life’s experiences. Much of the pain we encounter is less about the losses we have to endure, but about the struggle against life. Staying present with all that is provides real  happiness.


The Self’s Purpose

My Philosophy is based on an effort to develop a sense of purpose and the self love that so often is missing in us, and is at the heart of our struggles. External difficulties can be met with so much more grace and strength when our internal conflicts are resolved. As soon as we can learn to smile at our own fear and resentment, we can stand up confidently to whoever is in our way.

When I work with couples I operate from the premise that couples unconsciously seek each other out in order to heal from past experiences. The areas of conflict are usually those that need attention and healing from what was not provided earlier in life, and therefore need special care and attention.


Training - Theoretical Orientation - Publications

My work has been informed mostly by psychoanalytic thought, Energy Psychology, Imago Relationship Therapy, Self Psychology, and Internal Family Systems Therapy. My main modes of practice are proven techniques such as tapping, energy work, psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behavioral interventions and mindfulness.

I completed my training in psychodynamic psychotherapy at the Washington Square Institute and the Training and Research Institute in Self Psychology in New York, and have been practicing therapy as well as meditation since 2002. I am always continuing to learn and recently have been taking take classes by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology

Before I became a mental health professional, I had a fulfilling career as a journalist and writer in Germany and the US. I write a blog and have published two books, The Gentle Self and Buddha Betrayed

I am in New York and New Jersey. Click here for a map

FAQ & Contact Me


Gerti Schoen

Licensed Psychotherapist, MA, LP
Certified Imago Relationship Counselor

T: 201.292.5294

[email protected]


Office locations:

1 Milligan Place, Office NYPCRC 3

New York, NY 10011

61 North Maple Avenue, Suite 301

Ridgewood, NJ 07450


Office hours and location:

Monday 10am – 9pm Ridgewood NJ
Tuesday 12pm – 8pm New York
Wednesday 12pm – 8pm New York
Thursday 12pm – 8pm New York
Friday 10am - 9pm Ridgewood NJ


In network:  Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield
Out of network: most other insurances


Expenses for psychotherapy that aren't covered by insurance are tax deductible.

Payment: Cash, check, Venmo, debit/credit card (fee may apply)

There is a 48 hour cancellation policy if you have to miss a scheduled session


Watch a video about my practice here


Online Therapy

Online Therapy is a convenient way to communicate if you live further away, or to stay connected when traveling. I  use Skype or Vsee.com, which provides a safe and confidential way to communicate via the internet. 



We will never give away your name or email address