Everybody has days when we feel low. But when the self doubt and fears take over, we need to find a way to get in touch with our core value which sustains and nurtures us on an ongoing basis. Core value is our innate goodness and worth as a human being. It cannot be taken away from us.
We can lose touch with it, when we are in the grip of anger and anxiety, but it is always there, working in the background. Some people call this inner core value the real self, other people call it the soul.
Everybody is at their core a fundamentally good human being. All of us would help a child or an animal in a vulnerable position, as long as we are safe. Each of us has values that are indisputable: for example our work ethic, our loyalty and protectiveness of those we love, our loving and compassionate side, our desire to learn and improve, or to connect to other people and beings. That doesn't just go for other humans, but for our pets and the natural world as well.
Deep inside we all care about someone or something, and that in itself makes us lovable. The love we extend comes back to us, in verbal and non-verbal ways, whether we are aware of it or not.
Seasoned psychologist Steven Stosny explains in his book "Soar Above", just how important it is for us to regularly get in touch with our core value.
The human brain is by nature designed to react negatively to sudden or unforeseen stimuli. We evolved as a species to go on alert when facing potential danger or uncertainty. As hunters and gatherers we had to be constantly on the lookout for dangerous animals that might kill in a heart beat.
Today, even though our physical safety is relatively stable, the stressors of our every day fast paced environment sets off the alarm bells in our brains, and we get anxious, distrustful or doubtful. The old defense mechanisms of fight, flight or freeze set in without prior warning, and often without us being able to take control of them.
So we need to retrain our brains. We need to signal it that there are good things in our lives, and more importantly, that we are good people. We need to refocus some of our attention toward the positive. That can be done by starting a gratitude journal, where at the end of the day you note three things you are grateful for.
Or, it can happen by drawing attention to your core value. Ask yourself, what is the most important thing about me? And ponder how this informs your actions, feelings and the course of your whole life. Examine how this trait shows up every day and helps you to improve your life.
The more you are in touch with your core value, the happier you will be .
Gerti Schoen is a writer and psychotherapist. In her spare time she enjoys learning, being in nature and around animals.